Bulletproof

Before i started posting about music, i know i havent posted in a week and a half, and i do feel guilty. I actually just went through someone's blog, and after reading those posts, i am really touched. Everyone kinda has an ideal dream, it is not a dream that u dream about when u go to sleep, but rather it is a future dream, that you wish it would happen. And somehow if it exists, everyone would strive for that particular dream, and hopefully, it will come true someday.

Sometimes, i think it is a bit hard, and everything that is in the future, would be hard to measure, because you never know what would happen, and more importantly, how those promises are meant to be broken at some point? or maybe how those promises would be kept to the end? You would never know what a person is thinking, when he/she actually said something. You wouldn't know if she/he means it, or if he/she would be keeping. I have come across so many things like those, and i figured there's no way that i can figure out, what a person actually thinks, even if they said it, as if they mean it. At the end of the day, only those speakers, know if they really mean it. Sometimes, i would like to make things alot more complicated for some reason, and i would make my brain explode by thinking so many complicated stuff.

Alot of people told me, especially my ex-girlfriends, that i am a very weird person, and somehow even if i am right next to them, saying all those stuffs to them, they still have no idea what is on my mind, which kinda brought me to today's topic: Mind games. I have no answer to it, and i know everyone does it during certain times. And it is very contradicting, because you know you shouldnt be doing it, but you still do it unconsciously.

Everyone exists in the world, to prove someone that they can do certain things, and nevertheless, i am no different. But in a way, the things that i do, arent there, because i want to prove the world, but rather, i want to prove to myself that i can do those stuffs, and succeed in the end. And somehow, it seems like the future is so blurry, with all the stuffs happening currently, but i know, if i try hard enough, i am going to make it in the end. I have told myself repeatedly, maybe i shouldn't post all these complicated stuffs here for other people to read, to accidentally think that i am a very emotional person. But, i know myself, i aint that kinda person.

Weird post, today. But i still did write it hahaha.
Love,
Ideal